Today involved this.... Yes I did have to join in 

We are actually the queen. 

Life...and stuff.

I was just thinking I don't know what to write about today. It's been a quiet kind of day, and my 47th birthday.  My presence on this planet for this many years has got me thinking about a discussion with an online friend recently.  

As an atheist, I do not believe my presence here is especially magical or has any meaning beyond what it means to me. But something another atheist said to me this week I found a little confronting, yet thought provoking. This friend described himself as an antinatalist. For those who, like me have probably never heard of this concept it is the idea that life = suffering and that none of us have the choice to be brought into life and that doing so is to create suffering. Antinatalists chose not to bring life into the world because existence is ultimately futile. We will all die and all we are doing in the meantime is waiting it out. Antinatalists though are not necessarily hopeless people.  I kind of compared it to veganism in that they are choosing not to add to the pain of another.  I'll let you go google this for yourself. 

This discussion did get me thinking about why I had children and what is there to love about life.  It can get pretty tough sometimes, very boring a lot of the time but there are moments when I am in awe of the existence of my life. When I see a beautiful sunset, or hold a newborn baby, it's life full of such potential, the pleasure of sex, the smell of petrichor, that moment at the end of a brilliant book where you close it and just say a quiet 'Wow' to yourself. Tiny moments, but they are the ones that make it all worth the effort. 

I shall end today's blog with a quote from my favourite person, the incredible Mr Tim Minchin

"There is only one thing to do with this empty existence, and that is fill it. Not Fillet, Fill. It. And in my opinion (until I change it) life is best filled by learning as much as you can about as much as you can, taking pride in whatever you are doing, having compassion, sharing ideas, running, being enthusiastic, and then there love and travel and wine and sex and art and kids and giving and mountain. Climbing..but you know all that already" 

In pursuit of technical perfection

Recently, I decided I wanted a new compact camera. I have a good but large, and heavy Olympus camera that's a few years old now and the last two times I went on holiday I barely used it in favour of my iPhone. 

I'm no photography geek but I do like to take nice photos and the problem with the phone is 

A) using it as a camera all day means it goes flat quickly and

B) it's got a crap zoom

So, after a quick mooch a few weeks ago I realised that you can now buy cheap compact cameras with better specs than my 'Good' Olympus for less than $200. I thought 'Cool one of those will do' and then it starts.  

I go from thinking any cheap, reasonably good spec camera will do...then I see that some have wifi so suddenly that becomes essential.... Then I see that some have 20x zoom and suddenly that becomes essential and slowly but surely the price of my 'cheap' camera starts to rise.  The compulsory online research starts to consume me and the more I look the harder a simple decision becomes.   Have you ever looked at online reviews for things?  I have come to the conclusion that they are written by people like me who are quite possibly never going to be happy with what they have as long as the possibility for something better (and possibly cheaper) is out there. 

Anyway, have ended up buying this. 

And after playing with the wifi (I can upload straight to Facebook and send the photos to my phone) 

Which is excellent, I take the inevitable puppy photos and start to be wracked with post purchase guilt as the pics aren't as good as I thought...I do this with pretty much every gadget I buy by the way... I obsess and I compare and wish I'd bought something else.  Until that is I get bored and just use the damn thing quite happily. 

Sooky puppy

Today was the day Princess here..aka Megs/Meggsy/Mrs Mop got 'done'. 

She was also microchipped and had two baby teeth removed. Poor puppy is wondering what hit her. Daddy (the human one) thinks this means she was too young to have had her bits removed and thinks I'm being mean. But not only will it lower her chances of getting girlie cancers, it will mean no more doggy periods and the boys wil leave her alone. She is after all the most stunning puppy you ever saw and the boys would have seen this.  I'm just not ready to be a grandma.  

Of conversations and umbrellas.

I spent half of yesterday making this.

  One of the English program's where I work wants to have "Conversations under the umbrella". I spent a lot of the last two weeks convincing someone who doesn't work here that a large outdoor umbrella would quite possibly be a WHS hazard in this library. (How she could not see the potential eye pokings out I cannot grasp). Then I had to convince same person that while it was a good idea to place a sign on the table saying

HELLO, YOU ARE SPEAKING TO FELICITY TODAY

That there was no point in putting on the back of said sign

FELICITY IS NOT AVAILABLE TODAY.

I'm not sure I actually even did convince her that despite learning English, students were still able to understand the idea that Felicitys none presence on the table did indeed mean she wasn't available. Or even the irony that the very act of asking a member of the library staff if Felicity was available was actually a conversation. Perhaps it didn't count cos it wasn't 'Under the umbrella' 

Sometimes I find idiot speak quite draining.  I so need this long weekend. 

Middle? Age?

Its my birthday this week. I share the birthday weekend with a colleague and friend and we have always joked that the long weekend is cos it's our birthdays. This year happens to be my friends 60th and there is much excitement for her.  Discussing this with another colleague she asks 'how old are you?' '47' I admit reluctantly. Ah, you don't count, she says...

Don't count? Does this mean I have reached the nowhere land that is Middle Age? What the hell is 'middle age' anyway?   Am I actually somewhere slap bang in the middle of birth and death? Not cute and full of the potential and optimism of life left to the young.  Not wise and elegant and with the respect and pride left to the old. I now just am. Apparently at the peak of what I will be...well that's fucking depressing, I not sure I like it.  I'm not even sure why I've always dreaded being called middle aged.. It's so insulting. I'm quite looking forward to being old, cos then I can act atrociously and no one will care "when I am old, I shall wear purple" til then I'm going to suggest a new name for the M word... I'm going to call it Gloriously Divine! What do you think? 

#Blogjune day one musings

So, Having a look at my last (Un)successful attempts to blog I can see I need some motivation. Those who know me, (or kind of social networkingly know me) know Im not averse to talking....or ranting...a lot, so #Blogjune should be something I have a go at.  So here goes...This is me....blogging. and already Im stuck for something to say.  I know its unusual, Shush.

There has been real coffee this morning, something I don't always partake in as to do so involves walking to the coffee shop leaving me racked with guilt that I have to leave my work to do so. But I have a new Library tech and well, I have to show her the sights don't I!

Anyway, apart from real coffee Ive already ranted at one email and done at least two 'Did she just ask that?' looks at my coworkers.  And Its only Tuesday.

Well there we go, #Blogjune day one (Well technically day three but we wont count..)